May 9, 2014

Have girls they said. It'll be easy they said. And she isn't even 1 yet.

Dear Willow, 
I have no idea how to be your mother.

You are not quite 1 year old and my little baby girl is all boy. You run and climb and throw things in the toilet (the wii num chuck was today's casualty). You kick balls and eat rocks then run away from me and you put your own head under the bath water repeatedly cause I guess you enjoy gasping, drowning and coughing. You ride your plastic car and stand on top of the grocery buggy and run. You wriggle out of restraints, enjoy skipping naptimes and bedtimes and with your head leading the way, you run. Last Tuesday you had some kind of running mouth/teeth incident I didn't witness and it took me 90 minutes to get you to stop bleeding. And you are not even 1 yet.

You talk. You say ball, mama, dada, up, baba, da among other vowel sounds that I haven't placed with an object. You are a messy eater cause you insist on feeding yourself, 50% of the time we have to bathe you after a meal, the other 50% of the time you just have food on your face cause there is no amount of wipeys (Maggie's words) that can take spaghetti out of your hair and clothes. And you are not even 1 yet.

At night you sleep hard. Me and your dad have both noticed you sleep in the planking position. Face down, feet and hands stretched out straight to your side like a board. Last week you were up late with me and you were so tired but wouldn't sit still so I just placed you on the ground, you took off running at full speed, tripped over the carpet, had a soft landing on a blanket on the floor and you fell asleep right there, not another movement. So basically you party hard until the very end. And you are not even 1 yet.

botched cloth diaper job from earlier today

But damn girl you are beautiful. You got all the good features from me and your dad and you smile like a tiny little awesome trouble-maker. You are always super smiley when I go and get you in the morning. You are truly everything I imagined a Willow to be. Fiery and Beautiful. And you are not even 1 yet.

You are always having a great time. A mama's girl that gets cranky when she is hungry but generally always trying to live-it-up... and I know all of this before your first birthday. 

I just pray everyday that your guardian angel graduated top of his class and has had centuries of successful experiences. I pray for you more than I have prayed for anyone else. I pray that I am an attentive mother, that the gas oven knobs are boring to you, that your fascination with water will subside, that you never find anything exciting or edible inside of your diaper, that the bathroom doors will always be closed, that small rocks are scarce and the large ones are not tasty. I pray that the yard will be full of soft grass and dirt looses all flavor to you. I pray that concrete will be swishy under your tiny feet and knees and all furniture and walls are rounded and padded. I pray that the Lord makes me the mom you need for me to be. 

I pray, most of all, that you make sure Maggie has a ton of fun and that she is your conscience when you aren't being safe. Maggie's favorite thing to say is "uh-oh Willow", but she also blames her poopy diapers on you, oh well, big sisters, can't live with them can't be a fiery little sister without them. 

I love you so much, my little trouble maker, be careful.

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